jimmy 4.5 - three lessons on responsibility growth and healing
A quick life hack for those feeling the uncomfortableness of your ever-increasing age…pop a decimal right in the middle of your digits and you are now version X.X of whatever your story is! Start looking at the experience of your life as software, complete with troubleshooting, fixes, patches, bugs, firewalls, updates, and even user errors.
If done correctly, turning inward can provide awareness of what is going on with your way of life. You may not need a complete overhaul, but there is troubleshooting that needs to be completed.
July 14th, 2025, marked forty-five trips around the sun for me, and Jimmy 4.5 has been embracing the software approach to life for 5 years. Here are three things I have learned along the way.
1. Some things are not your fault, but they are your responsibility.
Family history, family patterns, accidents, breakups, and even disasters are all parts of life, handing you things you did not ask for. Sometimes it feels like the rug is swept right from under your feet, and at other times, it is a slow walk down a path that seems vaguely familiar yet not your own. The circumstances of any situation may not be your fault, but the new reality which arises is our responsibility. True responsibility requires taking ownership. Own your strengths, flaws, actions, and inactions. Own it all.
2. Growth is not linear.
Growth does not happen in a straight line; it is not even a jagged climb up a mountain. It is a spiral that circles out from the center, flowing outward and upward. At the center of the spiral lies a dot, your root. Your deepest pain, old programming, beliefs, and personal history live here. As you ascend the spiral, the vines of your root creep out, working mercilessly to bring you back to your old familiar self. Every relationship, hardship, new chapter, or new experience presents a test for growth. It is You vs the Vines. Real growth is when you become aware of the vines, acknowledge their existence, and find a way to navigate them as they reach out.
3. There is no such thing as fully “healed.”
Healing is relative. It is not a box to check, or a destination to reach. If you look at healing subjectively, it becomes easier to gauge. Think of your emotions and feelings as waves. At first, they may come crashing down to the point where it feels like drowning. With the right tools, practices, and time, the waves can eventually feel like a gentle nudge up against your ankle. You know it is there, you feel it, but you are not responding to it in the way you used to. Healing requires checking in. Consider asking yourself the following questions:
· How am I responding emotionally when the feeling comes up?
· How am I speaking to myself when this feeling comes up?
· Am I defining myself by this feeling?
The underlying thread of coherence between these lessons is awareness.
You cannot take ownership of something of which you are unaware. Unawareness keeps you stuck in blame and victimhood. Awareness is the first step in taking responsibility and allows you the power to choose differently.
Awareness and a sense of responsibility lead you to chase curiosity, seek information, and obtain tools to help you grow. These findings can be used to combat the vines of old patterns, habits, and beliefs when they reach out for you on the spiral of growth.
Observing our emotional state is putting awareness into action. This allows you to get a pulse on your reactivity and relationship to the baseline of your suffering.
With more awareness and every update, you get a little bit closer to the version of yourself you were always meant to be.
If you are ready to start updating your inner software and navigating your spiral of growth, reach out!
Growth Spiral
